=3

really wanna see him....>< i cant believe i would be like that @@ i thought i would be more controlled!!!
so now...whenever i think of him, i just pray!! and im being honest with God...i really like him....
but would that make me love God less?? i hope not and thatz what im afraid of!!!
so many things to tell him, so many things to express to him.....sometimes i wonder if im too.....weird!!

CANNOT EXPRESS!!! XDD

i didnt expect this to be like this!!! it becomes clear now, and.....i cant imagine the feeling is MUTUAL!!
pray that God will bless us in the future, guiding us in His way, so that we will always put God first XDD
May 26, 2012 is the START!! and can i think that as a start??? i cant....keep the smile off my face =P
i know there will be things i couldnt like, but thatz the point of walking this road together in Christ right? XD

Last day of the month...

SO HERE comes the last day of April!!! time really flies....and so my undergrad years are ALL finished.....
and all my results are in such a mess.....i tried hard but i guess i read too much manga and didnt really give my ALL!!! =T
cant blame anyone, cant blame anything....i can only blame MYSELF!! and theres nth much i could do now!!
thatz why i kept feeling im a failure....and i think that really hinders me to think that i COULD be called by God....
so i guess it's a NO???? yet i feel upset about that.....i told myself to let go.....><

堅持單純

要堅持單純，卻又不能變成幼稚。

要相信夢想，卻也要瞭解世界的殘酷。

要做自己，更要體貼他人。

假裝堅強

其實，我很累了，我習慣假裝堅強，
習慣了一個人面對所有，我不知道自己到底想怎麼樣。

有時候我可以很開心的和每個人說話，可以很放肆的，
可是卻沒有人知道，那不過是偽裝，很刻意的偽裝；

我可以讓自己很快樂很快樂，
可是卻找不到快樂的源頭，只是傻笑。


哭的時候沒人哄，我學會了堅強；
怕的時候沒人陪，我學會了勇敢；
煩的時候沒人問，我學會了承受；
累的時候沒人可以依靠，我學會了自立。

一個人，如果不堅強，軟弱給誰看。

EVENTFUL!!

On March 31, it was a Saturday, and it's a REALLY BUSY Saturday!! =] i didnt really get any work done
i went to do grocery shopping during morning, for Brian, Ar Lu and Sam would come over and taste cooking!
i made Carrot White Fungus Soup, Chicken with Peppers, steamed fish, assorted veggie and Pork
i really enjoyed cooking, to be able to see people's happiness when they eat of your food, it's a joy
anyway after the shopping, i went back to home immediately, to make the soup, then i quickly went to Marker Village
i had promised Joyce to go to there to distribute VBS forms, since CESA had the little engineers event it would be the perfect opportunity
i did experience God's grace, though i was alone, i wasnt afraid at all!! XDD it was such a great experience
and on April 2, i got the offer from UTSC MEnvSci i wonder if thatz God's answer to me!!

i guess i really.......like him!!! WHY?? when he doesnt have the SAME feeling towards me.......=T

let me dream =]

yesterday was the happiest day of the year so far!! had dinner with Jon, bro and Sam =]
cause Jon's bday was on March 9, but we pushed a day behind, cause i had midterm during the morning
originally i was thinking it's only the three of us, cause we just planned this while we were on our way back home from church!
and i spent the time @ jon's home after i tutored! =] i didnt expect to receive the text msg from Sam
so yea we all had dinner @ Gal Sushi last night!! and it's our treat to jon XDD we even met Ms. Sally and her family
after dinner we even went to Go For Tea, i shared a blueberry cheesecake with Sam....to be honest, i dunno how he thinks of me
he asked me whom i like, and i was thinking....it was you!! but i would never tell him....
since we bought a tablet, jon and bro were playing, and so me and Sam were talking more deeply
it's.....really out of my expectation.....but...let me have this memory...even tho its a dream...
so....just.....let me dream.....even only just one night.........^_^

not gonna hope but gonna bless =]

even though you told me about the truth behind! i...wouldnt purge up my hope either
i will still bless you, and its hard to not like the girl you like....haha...even it's NOT me..=]
but it's okay hahaha to me, TO LOVE SOMEONE is NOT TO POSSESS HIM!! haha
so i will smile, i will smile to bless, will smile because if you are happy, then im happy XD

i should know......

so you would choose to park at her side.....i should know....
once you told me you dun see her that way, and it's a completely different thing that i saw recently...
why would you still be nice to me? and i admitted, im trying to avoid you...so that i wont think of you
when you know that someone confesses to me....you even told me to consider it....
if there's NO obvious reason, i SHOULD consider it.....now my mind is full of this now....><
so i just take that as an answer "NO" for my prayers, would that be okay GOD?
is that what You are telling me now? i wish i could know....

ALWAYS!!!!

想化為風   吹遍大地   溫柔地吹拭你的淚   開心地伴著你微笑
you know? you are ALWAYS on my LEFT side, where my heart inclined to.....
and you NEVER let me stand on your LEFT side......
so to whom would your heart incline? OBVIOUSLY NOT ME!!!!....

Beautiful Misunderstanding

i dunno what to do to make it better, i just realized.....when sister told me about someone liked me, i thought of S.L but i guess S.D was on her mind instead.....sigh